BACK STORY: Let me start by saying my kiddo has slept in our bed from the time he was a month old, and he LOVES nursing. Like most exclusively breast-fed babies, he adores the booby an he has nursed AT LEAST 3 times a night (like clock work) every night up until about a week ago. Did I mention he despised his crib? Like, would scream if I put him in it.
Seriously, he’s only ever fallen asleep without nursing a hand full of times, and each of those times have been when he stayed the night with his grandparents (after he turned a year old). Even then he co-slept! lol
The schedule for what seemed like forever:
Bedtime- 8:00 pm
Snacktimes- 10pm, 12pm, 2am, 4am
10pm snack stopped around the time he turned a year old.
Fast forward to March 2016, little man is 15 months old. Mama is tired. So, I reviewed the pros and cons of co-sleeping and what felt like constant night nursing.
PRO’S
-Unlimited baby cuddles
-I could sometimes nurse him back to sleep in the morning and sleep in
-He was getting unlimited breast milk all night, which is wonderful for his immune system & his development
-I woke up in the sweetest way possible every morning
-More cuddles. All the cuddles, snuggles, and kisses
CON’S
-I wasn’t getting much sleep at ALL. Instead of nursing back to sleep at 2 like he has done for so long, he started to toss and turn and wanted to stay attached to the boob all night
-Him being latched while I fell asleep meant I had to sleep on my side, which at this point I had been doing for almost two years (9 months pregnant + 15 months PP).. I was over it
-No cuddles with my fiance, no time just the two of us
-I need to focus on work and school when he’s sleeping, and by him waking up to nurse so often productivity levels were really down
-HE’S HUGE NOW and takes up half the bed, see above
-Let’s be real, mama gets touched out sometimes.
I was starting to think he would never sleep in his own bed and he would always nurse through-out the night.
We didn’t feel comfortable letting him cry it out, we tried it for a couple nights and it was seriously awful and broke my heart. So, I would nurse him to sleep in our bed then at 2 when he was being restless I would nurse him until he didn’t want anymore, then lay him in his bed. He would fuss a little bit but not full on cry, and he would fall asleep in his crib within 5 minutes tops. I was starting to see the light.
This went on for a few nights until I decided to nurse him in our bed at bedtime but NOT let him fall asleep nursing- I would unlatch him and carry him to his crib when he was just about to fall asleep. I would turn the diffuser in our room on 15 minutes before we laid down, and I would have the diffuser in his room on as well with the same combo so that when I carried him in his room he would feel just as calm and comforted as he did in our bedroom. He associated the scent of his bedtime combo with sleep, and without diffusing his combo there was just no sleep happening at all, even in our bed. I know that it comforts him and relaxes him enough to get a good nights rest.
Important side note: we struggled to get him to fall asleep from the time he was 3 months old until we started diffusing lavender every night. As time went on we added gentle baby and cedarwood to the diffuser as well.
So, it’s been almost a week and he is officially sleeping in his crib all night and at nap time too. After the third night I started nursing him in his room in the rocking chair taking the same approach, nursing him until I can tell he is about to fall asleep then laying him in his crib while hes still awake but not fully awake. I tell him night night and that I love him, give him his teddy bear and shut the door.
He fusses when I lay him down, but when I am out of his sight & I shut the door he doesn’t cry. I watch him on the baby monitor and he either sits in his crib swaying or tossing and turning until he falls asleep completely. It hasn’t taken him longer than 5 mintues to fall asleep since we’ve started this routine, and most nights it’s two minutes. I know, it blows my mind too, seriously. I still turn the diffuser on 15 minutes before we go in his room to nurse, and because it automatically shuts off I turn it back on around 12pm. My mind is blown. I never in a million years thought we would get him to sleep in his own crib.
I think the reason he doesn’t wake to nurse through out the night now that he is in his own crib is because he knows I’m not right there, basically the buffet is no longer open 24/7. Out of all the nights hes slept in his crib this week, he’s only woke at 2 am twice and I didn’t go in there because he wasn’t crying. He was just kind of tossing and turning and fussing, and he put himself back to sleep within a few minutes.
It is bitter sweet and while it feels like an accomplishment, it’s so sad to me at the same time. He’s growing up and can put himself to sleep now! This is nuts. Feel free to drop any questions in the comments, I know how frustrating it can be and if I can further explain or help in any way I’d love to!
Blog by Tori Alysha 
My son is 18 months old, co-sleeping, nursing, and does not sleep through the night. I’ve been trying to move him to his crib more. I’m now starting to think I’m just being lazy haha! I have a 3-in-1 crib that I took a side off of, and raised the mattress… Like a co-sleeper, it’s right up next to my bed so I can move him to his bed easier and so he can come to me easier. My thought was that I need better sleep, and that my son is just pacifying through the night. Oh, and that this would be a good transition to a toddler bed, and eventually his own room, that he would share with his sister (3 1/2 years old). Unfortunately, I wont be able to put him in his own room right now (not for 5 months). I need to check out the aromatherapy I’m thinking! (sorry for the long comment!)
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I really feel like with kyzer that he was just recently ready to be in his own crib. Before recently, he never had difficulty falling back asleep in our bed, but when he started to toss and turn in or bed after his 2am feeding I knew it was my chance to try and transition him. Every baby is different, go with your gut! I know for us that kyzer was just using me as a pacifier through out the night as well, which I couldn’t be upset over since it’s all he knows and has never had a plastic binky. I know without a doubt that we wouldn’t have been able to transition him without diffusing every night, and I highly recommend looking into a protocol with oils that will be perfect for you guys!
Essential oils are adaptogenic, meaning because our bodies are all different, we will all be affected differently by oils. What works perfect for us may or may not be what works perfect for someone else, but then again it could! It’s sometimes trial and error but once you get a good routine down and find a combo of oils that you kiddo responds well to it will be smooth sailing.
Hang in there mama, I know it’s tough! The journey of a thousand miles starts with one step 😉 I really feel like me following his cue of him being restless in our bed was so important, like I knew it was a sign that he was ready to sleep in his own crib.
& don’t apologize! I’m glad you voiced your experience. It’s nice knowing we’re not alone in this transition that can be sooo hard.
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My sister-in-law uses essential oils. I’ve been meaning to research it, because I do believe it can make a difference! Thanks!
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It most definitely does! We’ve been using oils in our home for over a year now and I’ve been so amazed with all the ways they have benefited us that I’m going to school to get my certification in French aromatherapy. You don’t need a formal education to benefit from them and to use them safely, getting a good reference book, doing some research to understand the basics of how they work, and having guidance from your sister in law as you get started will be so helpful to you!
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Thank you, I appreciate your help!!
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It’s awesome to know I’m not alone in this battle. Matthew had gotten to where he was wanting to nurse every hour or every 2 hours, and he was a year old. He had slept in our room from the time he was born until he was about 14 months old, but in his own bed. I wanted to try the cry it out method, so I moved his bed into his own room and would only go in if he was full blown crying. A lot of times, it was just fussing and he’d go back to sleep, but when he was in my room, I’d always get up at the first sound he made. The first month he was in his room, he still wanted to nurse A LOT at night, which I cut him some slack because he was sleeping in a different environment, but after time, he started cutting down. Now he only wakes up once or twice all night long and it’s WONDERFUL! I seriously can’t wait for the night that he and I can sleep through the whole night!
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I’m so glad you guys found a way to transition him to his own room! Sleeping all night is glorious, like it’s crazy I’m so not used to it at all. Out of the week so far that kyzers been sleeping in his own crib he’s only woke once two nights (last night was one of them) to nurse and one of the nights he went back to sleep on his own, last night he whined for more than 5 minutes so I got up, turned the diffuser back on, nursed him and put him back in his crib and he went right back to sleep.
Everything with kiddos is a phase 🙂 this too shall pass!
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